Before I was Only4thebrave.

As I take a new direction with my career and my creative work, I have started cataloguing my work for books and exhibitions. It amazes me at how far I have come and some of the things I have shot, seen and created with others.

At some point I’ll print some of my negatives of my first nudes, but let’s start with my first adult erotic shoot. It was defiantly tense, not because I had never seen a naked woman but more along the lines of the new narrative. I wasn’t sure how I was going to engage with a person that was possibly trying to reach orgasm. Knowing the difference was the thing, and I wanted it to feel real even though it was staged.

I think my gift was my background, I work with all kinds of people and resolve issues and conflict added to patience and the fly on the wall approach of documentary, I could guide a person in the direction they already wanted to go. I think this is what erotica is all about those other senses and remembering to capture them in the scene. My influences Nan, Weegee and Helmut, gave me raw, gritty and beauty, the rest was just point of view. I can so easily explain my style and influences, but at this time I was still working things out.

This shoot was far from how I shoot now and the things I look for.

My first adult shoot was hot and sweaty, and not in the way you imagine, I have Aspergers, so everything has it’s place and time and music helps me to regulate, but during shoots there not much music, because I’m normally giving instructions. As prepared as I thought I was when the double ended pink dildo popped out, panic set in and with no music I could regulate and then it got real hot. At least I didn’t faint, which was common back then for me, understanding yourself helps.

Which End

I defiantly think the model you work with in the early days also helps set your tone, I was lucky, because me and lizzie had the same interests in art and fashion, she just came with an adult twist and a business focus that was so refreshing, she knew she was gonna make it and had a plan. She was very inspiring and I believed that I could make lots of money taking pictures of naked people.

I think this was pivotal for me as this was my first shoot, with a creative that wanted to create a story not just snap shots of a pretty girl in all the right poses. Being able to create a concept or story and bring it to life was what I was doing. The how far was too far was the question, and what did I need to create to tell the right story.

A lot of things have changed since that time, including technology, how we view and the stories that we tell and for a time I was more interested in money than the art but I think again with growth you can push the boundaries of what you can create and with who.