Chasing the bag!

I was raised on the ethos, money is the route of all evil. And on the flip side money, answers all things.

But then I was raised in a family, where power was the ultimate goal. Via knowledge or strength, Money/ possesions were the manifestation of that power.

I never wanted to be like them so art was the best way to avoid those paths as much as possible, But sometimes it’s easy to slip into old habbits. I know how to be a criminal and a scholar so art is my balance. In these mad times and with other issues I have struggled with who I should be, and my balance was upended and I found myself falling into old habbits where money was my goal.

Most people think that money brings you happiness but I’ve always seen how it destroys you slowly at first but the more you get the more you want and the more things you are willing to do to get it. This doesn’t change if your a criminal or a ‘law abiding citizen’ (we all break laws so are we all criminals?).

Money pushes me away from the person I want to be, as an artist your world gets smaller a lot quicker than you’d like, when it runs out. Then those influences become stronger as they tell you art is a stable income and to think of your family. I don’t want to be chained to a desk or sit in a cell for the next 15 years but as an artist those are the only real choices I have.

So instead of freedom I accept chains to a system I don’t like, and join a race I don’t want so others can feel more comfortable, and before I know it I’m chasing the bag, doing anything to make money.

As a result my artwork slows down, my motivation goes out the window, I worry about what people think. I’m doing things for others but nothing for myself and now I’m lost in a world that is of my own making because money became my goal.

Now instead of taking photos I write about what I have lost, my freedom, my happiness and my art.

Getting back seems harder than slavery.